Clash
by Caspre
Summary: Zuko is now part of Team Avatar, and even though Aang is by her side, Katara strays from the path and into the fire. But now she's having second thoughts who should she really be with? What about the boy back at camp, waiting, waiting for her? Zutaraang
1. Nothing is Like This

**Clash**

Nothing is like this.

Nothing is as painful, as tormenting as this. He's closer than he was a second ago, I know it. His hand is inches, moments away from mine. And there it is, his fingers entwined with mine, as if they had been there forever.

Holding this boy's hand is...surreal. How am I doing this? How did it come to this? Prince Zuko, the boy who had chased us for months, had nearly brought about our deaths and haunted our nightmares is holding my hand, gently, but I can still feel his racing pulse brush against the inside of my wrist.

"Zuko..." I breathe not knowing what to say.

"Don't talk." He told me. I flare instantly as I wrench my hand from his.

"I'll do what I feel like, you can't silence me." I hiss at him, determined to defy him, to clash with him.

"Katara, jumping for any chance to hate me isn't going to help. I meant don't talk as in just enjoy the view." He says calmly, looking mildly surprised as he gestures to the mountains and mist that are below us as we stand at the brink of the Western Air Temple. "Also, you would only say that you hated me, maybe I want a break from being despised for a while." He adds, a look of bitterness flashes across his face, just for a second, and then it is gone. I soften as I watch him hurting.

"I'm sorry..." I tell him, wanting him to believe me, but even _I _don't believe me. I watch him a second longer and turn to leave.  
"If you're going back to the Avatar-"

"His name is _Aang_." I snarl, spinning round to face him, but he is still watching the view as if something is about to happen, his back to me, "When are you going to call him by his name?"

Silence.

"If you're going back to him, you'll only distract him. I've set him some breathing exercises and if you want him to accomplish fire bending in this short time then you'll know better than to distract him."

"I'm not a _distraction_." I spit indignantly, "I'm one of his teachers too, Zuko, I have every right to go and see him!"

"So you _are _going to see him." Zuko says, still infuriatingly relaxed, his likeness to Azula and her laidback mind games shining through, "It was only a suggestion, after all. He doesn't know how lucky he is..."

I boil to the breaking point. Before I know what I'm doing, my water pouch is open and a water whip streaks through the air-

SMACK!

The prince stumbles forwards, only just manages to stop himself so he doesn't tumble down to the rocks hidden by fog below. I wait for his reaction, for the flames to erupt from his fingertips. But all I see is a cloud of steam from his nostrils. He turns; his brow furrowed and pushes past me, his shoulder colliding with mine. But just as I'm certain he's leaving, his hand slips into mine and he pulls me after him.

"What are you-" I begin, stumbling as I hurry to keep up with his fast pace.

"Don't. Talk." He repeats simply. This time I obey, not sure if he's going to hurt me or worse, try out some more romantic advances.


	2. His name is Aang

Before I know anything, I'm under an elderly tree, it's branches slouch so low that they brush against the dusty ground. Zuko is standing apart from me, instead of pushed up close, looking awkward, as if he's regretting bringing me here. I scrutinize him, my arms folded and my expression sceptical.

"What's the big idea, Zuko?" I demand, no longer bewildered but indignant that he feels he can just pull and push me like the tide; I'm not as tolerant.

He blushes- the prince of flames, Zuko, blushing like a small child. It unsettles me- what happens next? That's what I ask myself as he shuffles from foot to foot. I watch him thinking furiously, his scarlet robes washing out his handsome face, but only making his amber eyes more alive.

He's always had so much passion, for his honour, and probably for that girl he was with, the girl with her spinning daggers and unreadable face. It's my turn to flush, to look away. But he had left her, and he had left his honour behind. Where will his passion take refuge now?

The question will be answered, and I know what it is, but I don't let it come into the light, I don't let myself realize. It's too surreal, too unmentionable.

"You love the Avatar."

It takes me a while to realise that he's asking me a question, not making a statement. I am short of breath, the tree's shade was so much cooler seconds ago.

"I..."

It is all I can say. It's impossible to fill the silence hanging heavily between us in the air. It's impossible to explain the situation between me and Aang, it's too complicated, there's so much we've been through together. But at the same time it could be so simple. I could love him and he could love me. But there's something pulling at me, deep down, telling me to wait. I don't know what it is, but right now it feels as if I'm so close to discovering it.

"I'll take that as a yes..." Zuko says bitterly, turning away from me. His hair falls into his eyes so I cannot see his scar anymore. He looks younger, more free.

"I don't know, Zuko." I insist, not knowing why I am so desperate for him to believe me. Why does it seem like the world is only just balancing on a pin point and could topple to it's destruction at any minute whilst he believes that I love Aang? He looks up.

"How can you not know?" He says incredulously as if he knows so much more than me. But what does he know about love? He's spent his whole life craving it, starved of affection.

"There's just so much...love there," I try to fit the days, weeks, months, nearly a year with Aang into words, "I'm not sure what kind of love it is..."

Zuko regards me for a while, his eyes shining their bittersweet amber. Again, he seems to be thinking. I stand there, feeling like an idiot doing nothing, saying nothing.

"Don't decide anything yet." He says, and memories and emotions through his eyes.

I cannot deny that his eyes are beautiful, but what does that mean?

Nothing...it means nothing.

I cannot deny that right now my pulse is racing, and my mind is screaming, but I feel so waterlogged, so paralysed. Does he have this affect on everyone? No, only that acrobat girl has that ability...her harmless appearance sinister and haunting. She was on his side, but now he's on mine.

"Just...keep this in mind." He whispers to me, pushing my torrent of hair away from my face and closing his eyes, closing the doorway into his mind. Mine are opened wide, as if I'm trying to wake myself up from a disorientating nightmare. Before I can even whisper his name his lips are on mine, strong enough to leave their mark but gentle enough to make me tremble.

As if I am exhausted, my eyelids droop and I'm leaning into him, a my hands against his chest, his heartbeat racing against my fingertips, as if beating a rapid code to me, a secret message...

And it's over, he's apart from me, a bridge of discomfort stretching between us. I didn't know where to look as he steps back. He looks at me, too deeply.

"Stop it." I mumble, my lips feeling too big, as if he had left his on mine. Or maybe it's because they should never have been there. It was so different from Aang's kiss, the day he left me. His was swift and wistful.

Zuko's was...more than I could handle.

He was still looking at me.

"Just remember that," He tells me, "And then decide if you love the Avatar or not."

And he ducks out of the trees, leaving me pressed against the tree's trunk. A tear fell from me as I whispered:

"His name...is-"

"AANG!" I hear a voice scream, and before I can even acknowledge the terror clawing inside of me, I career through the low branches that had obscured us, my water pouch already opened, and my arms armoured by my element, ready to fight for Aang, in whatever danger he was in.


	3. The Spoilt Prince

"_AANG_?" I cry out as I emerge from the curtain of branches. I run to where I heard the scream from, not seeing Zuko who had so recently left the it's cradling arms as well. I'm sprinting, my breathlessness tearing through my chest with every breath I take. My water is all around me, ready to defend him. I run up a steep hill, almost collapsing but urging my legs to carry on, although they scream in protest.

Eventually I emerge over the top and come across Sokka, admist the crowd of the new additions to "Team Avatar" as well as Toph and to my heart's surprise, Zuko, whose is already at the scene. My brother is covered in mud with a pathetic flame jiggling on his rear end. Exhausted, relieved and irritated at my idiotic brother's over reaction, I fling my water at his backside and catch the sad little flames, a lucky shot since Sokka is prancing around too much and beating his behind desperately. He shrieks once more and sullenly inspects his sopping rear.

I collapse to the ground and breath in all the oxygen I can get, my lungs feeling as though they're about to split at the seams from the physical peak of exhaustion I have just touched. Aang is playing his innocence card, with the wide eyes and apologetic expression. He's not apologizing to me, for my unnecessary exertion, he's apologizing to Zuko, who is baring his teeth down at him.

If he knew what Zuko and I were just doing a few seconds ago he wouldn't be saying sorry. He wouldn't be saying sorry for knocking him off the temple's edge himself either.

Or would he hate _me_? Would he turn away from me, his grey eyes hurting, hurting, hurting? Would tears stream from his eyes as they did after the failed invasion when I was by his side? Am I still by his side? Or is Zuko leading me away from him, poor naive Katara.

"What did I tell you about breathing?" Zuko snarled, shaking me out of my worries. He is already at the scene, up close to Aang, too close, "It's the most important part of fire bending- if you can't control your breath, then you can't control fire! Although..." He finished quietly, turning to me, now bent over and supporting myself on my knees. I peer up at him, my brow furrowed and my chest heaving.

"It looks as though Katara will always come to the rescue when you're concerned. Seems as if she's acting the mother for you, Avatar. How_touching._"

Aang looks at me then, and blushes. My heart jolts as he looks away, almost ashamed.  
So this is how Zuko will play his little game. He will humiliate me and Aang, and drive us apart. Or he will try.

He will compare me to his mother and create uncomfortable situations?

The prince is still as spoilt as he was when he was a little child. He_has _to have everything he wants; everything hasto go _his_way. My stomach churns and my blood boils as I glare at him. I storm off, pulling Sokka along with me, who is looking bewildered.

"Come on, Sokka, we have to stitch the singe in your trousers." I say with authority, yanking him along impatiently, "Let's leave the_prince _to his little games!"

I shouldn't have let myself get that angry. But it's done. Aang will ask about my temper with Zuko, perplexed, but what's done is done.

_Aang will find out..._

I won't let him.

I can't let him.

It was just a kiss! It was nothing more than that! I try desperately to wrestle with my mind, which was pushing and pulling me violently, making my head spin.

But a kiss is what brought Aang and me together, a kiss is dreadfully important. I didn't ask for this to happen, Zuko forced it upon me, none of it is my fault.

_You didn't stop him_.

"I tried!" I cried aloud, causing Sokka to stop and peer at me suspiciously. I ignored him and pulled him along, he had no idea what I was talking about, the turmoil that was churning through my veins and he never would.

No one would.


	4. Katara?

"Katara?"

I ignore Sokka, as I find some cloth from our belongings and soak it with some water from my pouch. I whip it out a little too fiercly, and tear a strip of the material a little too aggressively. It splits. I'm cracking.

"What's up with you?" Sokka asks as I furiously scrub at the ash on his trousers. He stands there, with just a loin cloth on his bottom half, looking sheepish in front of his sister. But I'm not paying attention to him. In a matter of minutes hasty stitches have been pierced and yanked through the material. I fling his garb at him and storm off.

"Katara!" He calls after me, sounding surprised. He thinks I am changing, but I haven't. Things around me have shifted, and are making me feel uneasy, as if I'm unstable, but I haven't changed. I'm still the same old fiery Katara. And there's no way one little kiss from that boy is going to change who I am.

I won't let him have control over me.

* * *

"Katara?"

Just hearing someone call my name, demand something from me made my blood boil over.

"What?" I shout, my eyes wide and my nose wrinkled in fury. I jump up from my seat under a tree and watch Toph's eyebrows shoot up.

"I just wanted to see if you were ok, you're outburst was a bit unexplained back there." She said, keeping her cool and making her point. I relax, my bones aching, my muscles feeling stiff and to the point of breaking. I slide down the tree again, and put my head in my hands. There's a pause before my friend takes her place by my side.

"What's up?" She asks, too soft for her usual character, too kind and caring, as if I'm a normal human who deserves normal treatment, who hasn't done something terrible. My eyes sting as a lump rises higher and higher in my throat. I try to swallow it, but it won't leave.

"Nothing." I choke. She clicks her tongue and shakes her head, her raven hair hiding her eyes but I can still see her sad smile.

"Katara, even if you weren't about to cry I would be able to tell that you've just told the most obvious lie."

And I burst into tears, because she's being so nice to me and I don't deserve any of it. I turn away from her, but don't expect her to comfort me with a hug anyway.

"Is it Aang?" She tries. Even I can feel my heart beat quicken, "Sugar queen, what's wrong? You and Aang have only just got together!"

"Not properly." I tell her through sobs, "Just a kiss here and there, a brush of hands. He's too busy with his training for me-"

"Katara, I'm gonna have to advise you to pull yourself together." Toph says, firmly but apologetically, "You _know _that Twinkle toes has to train for the invasion, even harder than he did before, because we've only just realized how much it's gonna take to end this war. You can't expect him to just drop the rest of the world for you..."

I don't even tell her that that wasn't the problem, its better that she believes that instead. She pauses before saying, "No guy would drop everything for you...believe me..." She sounds troubled, but I don't have to ask her anything, she tells me herself.

"Sokka still has feelings for Suki, doesn't he?" She blurts out, losing her aloof manner to a flush of her cheeks. I stare at her, forgetting my tears and aching troubles with my mouth hanging open. I know what she means by this, but do I believe it?

"...Sokka hasn't seen Suki for a very long time," I try, my mouth is dry and my tears are forgotten. Toph just shakes her head.

"Doesn't mean he's forgotten her..." She says, in a small voice that is too hurt and sad to belong to her. I can't think of what to say. Deep down I know that Sokka loves Suki, even more than he loved Yuwe, maybe. I've never stopped to think about him and Toph. It is just so hidden and disguised, so unexpected and unthinkable.

"We don't even know if Suki is alive, Toph. Azula and her team had their garb, for all we know, she took them down to get their clothing..." Suddenly I realize how evil and awful this could sound if taken the wrong way. And Toph does. She leaps up and shows a look of disbelief and disgust.

"Is that meant to comfort me? Katara, I have never heard anything so inexplicably insensitive and awful! Of _course _I want Suki to be alive! You think I'd wish something like that upon someone?" She pauses as I try to explain but carries on before I get a chance, "I never thought that _you _would wish that upon someone..."

"Toph!" I cry in exasperation, "Listen to me! I only said that because I'm warning you! Sokka has no idea whether Suki is alive or not, just imagine how horrible that is; he doesn't know whether to give up or keep hope! He probably lies awake at night dreading the news that she's gone and praying for word that she's ok. I can't even begin to imagine that...What I'm saying is you shouldn't expect Sokka to just forget Suki, it could take years for him to-"

"I'm not expecting him to!" She says loudly, stinging from my accusation.

"I didn't say that." I say, trying to speak calmly to cool her down.

"Katara, I came to you for advice, not for a lecture. Do you know hard that was just then? That was probably one of the first times I've ever spoken about Sokka and me to anyone, and this is what happens!" She flings her arms up in anguish and leaves quickly. I don't bother running after her.

The shock is still hammering through my veins, the grief for Toph and for Sokka. Their stars are catastrophically crossed.

* * *

"Katara?" 

I'm still sitting under my tree, reliving what had happened with Toph and mulling over what she had told me as yet again, someone demands something from me. I have not fully awoken from my daydreams until they speak again, and I realize who it is.

"I seem to have made you angry."

That voice...it makes me want to uproot the trees around me, to shatter the mountains and crack through the skies. I am so overcome with fury that I just can't talk or breathe. I'm scared; I've never felt this way. I don't recognize myself.

"I have _nothing _to say to you, Zuko. Why don't you just go back to Aang and drop hints about me, play your little mind games and watch your plotting spin away from you until you are left empty and alone- again?"

This is met by a silence. I can hear the faint chirruping of other Air Lemurs, the pushing of the winds that surround us at such a high altitude, but to me it is silent, as if I am unattached from this world. But eventually, I hear the slow serenade that is Zuko's voice.

"Well that was impressive."

"Stop it!" I shout, whipping round to face him. He remains unemotional, a trick picked up from his girlfriend, no doubt, "Stop playing with me, I'm not your piece of meat, Zuko. You are nothing to me! You never will be! And I am nothing to you either! What is it you call me? 'Peasant'?"

"Calm down." He tells me. He knows. He knows that this will make me even angrier.

"STOP!" I scream, forgetting my water pouch and drawing water from the air, as Hamma had taught me. We were so high in the mountains that the air was flowing, alive with moisture and clouds, and I had as much as I could ever want.

Zuko looks upon my skill with nonchalance, an eyebrow raised. He knows I am good, he knows I am brilliant, but he won't show it. I continue to stare him out, laden with my element, letting it waltz around me in a state of calm as I bare my teeth at him, my heart pounding faster and faster-

And the bastard is smiling.

"Come now, Katara, you're not really going to hurt me. Maybe one of your typical water whips but would you really hurt me?"

It never occurs to me that this is a plea, not a taunt to provoke me. I should've realized.

Darts of water pirouette through the air, freezing and crunching as it turns to ice and hits his wrists. He is knocked backwards, and seizing this chance, I freeze the ice to the ground. His ankles are then trapped in due course. He struggles, losing his composure as he lies before me.

"I am not fire nation, Zuko." I say quietly, seething still.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He demands. He is the one who is confused and being manipulated now. I take my revenge with relish, bitterness dripping from my teeth as I go on.

"Well..." I say sweetly, patronizing him even further, "You see, I don't really have the amazing urge to just _hurt_people whenever I don't get my way. I'm not a spoilt little brat, Zuko. Something you and I will never have in common." I spit these words at him, and revel in his growing outrage. I carry on, because the more I do it, the better I feel, watching him writhe there, completely helpless as I tell him just what I think of him.

"I don't know about you, Zuko, but I prefer to let families stay together, to live and watch each other live, to laugh and have their family, their mothers and fathers, their brothers and sisters laugh with them. I prefer to let the world stay in peace, and not blast down their walls, march through their streets and spread war, hate and fear. I would've preferred to leave a certain group alone, because all they're doing is trying to help the world _make a little more sense!_"

I find myself crying as I talk, my face crumpled in dismay and hurt. I'm no longer angry or filled with spite. I'm falling apart, feeling my heart break just a little more. I turn away from this bastard and hug myself tight, trying to squeeze the pain out of me.  
"Katara..." It is no more than a croak, not mocking or seething with rage. It is sad and lonely.

I turn and see Zuko sitting and looking up at me, having melted my ice effortlessly with fire bending, like he could've all this time. And it dawns on me, finally, realization shining down on me.

He had let me have my say... he isn't who I think he is after all. My heart freezes as I look just a little closer, through the fire and into the warmth.

He's_crying. _Tears are streaking down his face, so many that they are merging together. They pass over his scar, giving it the illusion of beauty. His teeth are clenched and he turns away from me.

"...Zuko?" I breathe.

Before I know what I'm doing, before any of this makes _sense_I'm on my knees beside him and my arms are wrapped around him, holding him so close to me that I can feel his heart beat striking it's rhythm against my chest. He lets everything go and into me, his sobs are ripping through his body, his tears are mingling with mine. I close my eyes and let go too.

"I-I never wanted to...be part of this..." The prince chokes eventually, "I never wanted to be part of this war...I've been raised in a culture of anger, hate and destruction. I-I n-never..."

"Shh..." I soothe him, stroking his wild hair and holding him closer. His arms are around me. I'm not quite sure when they had got there. The mere pressure of his hold scorches through my skin and into me.

It's all I can do not to kiss him right now.

And it terrifies me.


	5. Red

"I love you." Zuko tells me, resting his head on my chest, which I suddenly realize is bare.

I gasp as I take in our surroundings. A beautiful fire nation bed chamber, adorned with lavish hangings and steely columns. The bitter scarlet flashes at me, making my eyes sting.

With a jolt of my heart I realize that we are in bed together, unclothed, the thin sheets strewn around us, clinging onto our legs and Zuko's arms are gently stroking me, his lips playing a satisfied smile.

I cry out in alarm.

"What's going on?" Comes from a bleary eyed Sokka, who is sitting upwards with his boomerang in hand, but he's useless while he is still tied up in his sleeping bag.

My heart continues to pound as I realize that it was all a dream, but one that _I_had conjured up.

About Zuko, and me.

Doing…something unmentionable.

"Nothing…I just had a bad dream…" I mutter, turning as red as the wall hangings in that bed chamber. Its image is ebbing away from my memory with every second, but the blood crimson is still imprinted on the back of my eyelids. Every time I blinked, all I saw was red…red…red…

"Oh…" Sokka says dreamily, all set to return to his slumber, and "Was Momo in it, because I find my scariest dreams always include Momo." He adds, snatching a suspicious sideways glance at the sleeping Lemur, who is curled up close to Aang.

I watch them for a moment, their chests rising and falling, half in my world, and half in another as they embark on their adventures in their own dreams.

I imagine Aang's lips on mine, our hands entwined, and our eyes interlocked. My heart begins to stir once more, as I feel a light fluttering in my stomach. I smile coyly, my head cocked to one side so my hair falls with me. I imagine a life with him, forever touring the clouds and touching the edges of what we know. I remember our sweet moments alone, our fleeting glances and tinted cheeks. I can still feel every kiss I've planted on his cheek flowering around me.

But then Zuko walks through into my mind, and obscures everything. Aang disappears. Everything is consumed by red…red…red…

My blood hammers through my veins and I feel dizzy with…something I can't define. Is it passion? Or just lust?

I think of when his hand slipped into mine, the discrete action making my inner being explode and erupt. Fireworks surge through me, fizzling down to my fingertips, making me giddy.

That must mean he likes me…

_Of course he likes you! _I tell myself. _He kissed you didn't he? He held you together just a few hours ago._

But still...what about Aang?

_What_about Aa_ng…?_

I still love him. Through all the storms battling inside of me, through all of the confusion I know this.

I try desperately to keep this in mind, but every time I close my eyes…

Red…red…_red…_


	6. It fits?

"There you are!" Aang calls brightly to me as I approach the morning camp fire, where everyone else is gathered and cooking breakfast. The Duke is poaching some Lemur eggs and Sokka is polishing his meteor blade. Teo is chatting animatedly to Toph, who is only half listening, her hand feeling the earth carefully.

Zuko is no where. His absence is the only thing I really take in, apart from Aang's radiant smile. I return it shyly and walk over to him. We share a hug and I feel his heart through his warm skin. I breathe in his familiar smell and release my tension.

"It feels like I haven't spoken to you in ages." He confesses quietly, a smile still playing across his young face.

"Well we'd better make up for the time we've lost…" I tell him, and I take his hand. Everyone apart from Sokka, who is still glued to his sword, is watching. But I don't fully take this in either.

My gaze falls to our gently clasped hands, wondering how they got there, remembering the months we had tip toed around each other, the nights I would lie awake and think to myself: _Will tomorrow be the day?_

I've waited so long for our hands to belong to one another, but now… how can I be sure this is what I want?

His arrow disappears beneath our clasped fingers, hiding. I feel dizzy and disorientated as the dream I woke from last night suddenly resurfaces…

_Skin grazing on skin…_

_Lips blessing lips…_

_Shouts of joy…_

_Handfuls of sheets pouring through my clutching fingers…_

"_I love you…" _

Aang's soft grey eyes penetrate mine. I am shaken, but I manage to force a smile. It makes my cheeks ache. I brush my hair away from my face with my free hand and tighten my grip on his.

Aang is who I should be with. It fits. We've been through everything together. Zuko has been plaguing us for nearly a year, and has only just walked into our lives without wanting to kill us. What connection do I have with him?

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I ask him silkily, smiling properly now, feeling my affection for him rise up from the soles of my feet, making me suddenly want to throw my arms around him, and kiss him full on the lips, even in front of Sokka, who finally pipes up:

"Oh just get _outta_ here, you crazy kids in love!"

The tension of everyone watching us beadily is broken. We all laugh, Aang and I blushing together and we finally set off , making the group promise to save us some egg.

"You know I'm not sure I'll even want to eat some of that egg…" Aang tells me thoughtfully, "It'd be like eating Momo!"

"He'll never know they're Lemur eggs." I assure him, but within seconds of saying this there's a huge screech, that sounds like Momo in distress and we hear the Duke crying out in surprise. Momo is obviously cleverer than he acts…

"Uh oh..." Aang mumbles, looking over his shoulder as I giggle quietly, "Maybe I should go and help…"

"They'll be fine, plus I don't want you to go…" I confess, looking him straight in the eyes. We slow and before I know it, Aang's hand is in mine again.

This time I am not confused. I'm elated, bubbling up inside until it feels like I'm going to burst into song. I can't stop the smile on my face, and Aang mirrors it, blushing slightly.

"There's no need for blushing now…" I tell him softly, raising my free hand to touch his pink cheek. My fingers must have felt like a butterfly landing gently on his face. He closes his eyes at my touch and it's as though his lips are just pulling mine towards them.

They look so soft and welcoming…what can I do but kiss him?

I close my eyes, and lean forwards. It feels as if I'm just falling through darkness, but I'll reach the light soon…

"Avatar! We need to resume training!"

A blink of an eye and my hand is away from Aang's face as if I had been electrocuted. My eyes are wide open as we look to the top of a hill where Zuko's voice had cut through the crisp morning air. I flush red, not being able to draw my eyes away from him, the night before flashing before me again.

Is he looking at me? He's too far away to tell…

"Come on," He calls again and pauses before saying, "You can finish all of that later."

Aang's eyes apologize to me as he slinks off, his hand leaving mine so it's cold and empty, too big for the space surrounding it. He fits.

I'm so angry, I can't believe how livid that boy can make me. He awakens something inside me and it scares me to death.

It scares me to death how I want to hurt someone, but love them, wrap my arms around and kiss them until my heart stops beating at the same time.


	7. Beautiful Chaos

"Zuko, what are you trying to do to me?" I demand harshly, my fists clenched and my legs apart, standing my ground. I'm facing him; we're in a secluded part of the temple, inside a lofty room, with arches that stretch across the ceilings. Pillars support it, and large windows run around the room, most of them smashed or cracked from storms that had raged years ago, long forgotten by the wind's breath. It's vast and every noise that sounds is magnified, stretched out and repeated, again and again.

I stare at him long and hard, straining every muscle in my body that has seized up. It feels like a day until he replies. And it's disappointing.

"I don't understand." He says simply, those three words bounding off of every surface, repeating them time and time again, drilling into my mind, each time making me edge more and more to the brink of frustration.

"Liar." I spit at him. My accusation chants at him around the room, and he frowns, ever so slightly, a mere shadow of the scowl he wore every time I saw him those decades and decades ago (or so it felt), scratched against his face, when he was trying to bring us down. But now, he only seems confused. It just makes me even angrier.

"You know exactly what I am talking about." I tell him, my breathing labored as my heart runs ahead of me, "You're trying to force Aang and me apart, just _popping _up whenever we happen to be alone together, which by the way, hasn't happened for much longer than five minutes!" My fury stacks and stacks, each little thing that I hate about Zuko and the way he's acting piling up and up. But he continues to watch me through those golden eyes of his, and I realize that I'm not just feeling anger. The huge teetering pile collapses pathetically. It wasn't high; I could only think of very few reasons to why I hated him. And they were all contradicted by that simple fact...

I think I love him...

"You…have to accept it." I try to say it strong, but it just wavers and I feel my voice crack, failing me. I can't pull my eyes away from his, and he knows his charm is working. He knows that inside, the water is pouring, gushing, crashing into me and I'm becoming waterlogged once more, no room to breath, no room to think. But is it really water? Or is it fire? Bright and burning, flaring inside of me, making my blood rush and hammer through my veins, racing around my body in a frenzy.

It's chaos, complete and utter chaos.

"Katara, if I was to be here with Mai…" He says smoothly, working his magic; the fires roar and scream as her name is mentioned. I feel myself go red and my fingers grip each other, "What would you do?" He asks me, his eyes twinkling infuriatingly.

"I'd leave you to it, I'd be happy for you!" I say immediately, trying to convince him, trying to convince myself, but not as desperately as I would've before, when his lips hadn't left their mark on mine so vividly that sometimes I even touch mine, imagining that they were still there, before that dream that almost drove me insane, before he looked at me that intensely, the look that awoke the very inner being of me.

Zuko smiles at my answer and shakes his head. He steps closer. I close my eyes briefly, and see Aang smiling at me, turning round from steering Appa through the air, just smiling.

"_Why are you smiling at me like that…?"_

"_Oh…I was smiling?"_

But as I feel those soft lips, pushing against my own as if they had never left me the skies are gone. All I see are the warm flames, dancing inside of me, waltzing around us, and blessing.

My hands are hanging on to his neck, his slim, smooth, sensual neck. His skin is warm and welcoming. He's beautiful. We're beautiful together. That's all there is to it.

But it's still chaos.

I suddenly realize that our mouths are open, our tongues meeting briefly, _touching._ What are we doing? I'm uncertain, and make to pull away, but Zuko only clings tighter. He lets our lips part and whispers, his breath hot and humid:

"Don't worry, just please don't talk…"

This time I giggle, instead of becoming angry from his orders. Maybe it's because he said "please", maybe it's because kissing him is like breathing for the first time.

Whatever it is, I pull him down to meet me, deciding that maybe this kind of kissing wasn't so bad after all as our tongues began to dance. I explore him, he indulges in me.

We are together.

It's beautiful, it's chaos.

Beautiful Chaos.

And I never want to let him go... even if there is a boy waiting for me, back at camp...

Waiting for me.


	8. Broken

I'm still in Zuko's arms. It's been hours, maybe days…

_No hours_, hours_ Katara… you're losing yourself again. _

His body has become so familiar to me. His lean arms, his strong torso and his long legs are part of my memory now, his strong chin and his long nose connected to me. His eyes…they fire me up, they light my flame, and they awaken my passion.

I've never, in my life, felt like this.

My heart is hiccupping, my eyes feel bright and I feel feverish. All I want to do is be with him.

We are still where we were those hours ago, when I tried to confront him and ended up kissing him, more deeply than I've ever kissed anyone. He's my first love, and I want him to be my always.

I take his face in my delicate hands, feeling his rough chin, a harsh terrain thanks to his razor. Aang's face is as smooth as a young boy's. But right now I cannot bring myself to think of him.

It's so quiet here, so secluded, no sign of any other life. We may well be the only people in the world.

"Can I talk now?" I whisper delicately, still tasting his tongue on mine. Zuko's eyes sink into mine, and the subject of talking is forgotten. I raise myself on my tip toes and kiss the prominence of his cheekbones, the angles of his jaw line and then those lips, the ones that speak poetry to me without a voice. It's an innocent kiss, short and sweet but enough to make my heart thud once more. The things this boy can do to my hear-

"Katara?"

My world falls apart now, with a click of a finger, the blink of an eye. My name bounds of every surface, calling me incessantly. I spin around; my eyes that were drooping lazily seconds ago were open wide, my cheeks flushing furiously and my heart pounding its fear to me, panicking. The bottom of my stomach falls away when I see _Aang_ standing there, in the vast doorway, clutching his glider like a walking stick, because if he didn't have it, he would've probably fallen to the floor.

I don't know what to do- _Oh my god, what do I DO? -_ I'm standing there, frozen, caught in the act. The walls are falling in, spikes are flying at me, but I'm falling, completely at loss.

"I-I…Oh, Aang!" I cry out, completely distraught.

Guilt, horror, remorse and so many other emotions are flying around, exploding, whizzing, and screaming. I hold a hand to my head, trying to silence them, but they rage on and on.

What will Aang say? Will he shout, fight…cry? Oh God, he can't cry, I'll die if he cries…

_Why do you always think about yourself? Aang's world is falling apart, and it's all because of you! What the hell can he be going through right now? But no… it's all got to be about you, Katara, hasn't it? Princess Katara, leading two innocent guys on…you think this would never happen?_

"Its not- I didn't mean to- You have to-" I tried desperately.

They were all reasonable start outs, but it didn't matter; I had no explanation to support them. No reason for why I had betrayed Aang in one of the worst possible ways, or why I had given in to Zuko.

"You don't have to explain, Katara…" Aang says miserably, not looking at me- how could he possibly look at me right now? His posture is tragic: his shoulders rolled inwards, his chest sinking into him, shutting me out. His head is hanging slightly, as if he has no strength to hold it up. But his eyes are the worst, glistening and hurt, his eyebrows cocked up in misunderstanding, not seeing how I could've done this to him. He turns to go…

_Say something, don't let him leave!_ A voice tells me, repeating it again and again, making my head ache. I watch Aang, completely paralyzed in horror and disbelief that this is actually happening. I don't want him to go, but what can I possibly say to him?

He doesn't take one look at me as he ducks out of sight. I stay silent, listening to the whipping noise of his new navy glider, and then the whistling of the wind, carrying him away from me…


	9. The Avatar's Defeat

His arms try to slither themselves around me, encasing me, trapping me. I seize them and force them away from me. I step back and stand there, completely at loss, the dull pang that had hit my stomach still throbbing unpleasantly. I wanted to be sick.

"…I'm sorry." He tells me, looking as if he means it. But why should he feel remorse? It's over for him, the secrecy and the longing. I'm officially with him now, so it seems. That's what Aang will tell everyone when he reaches camp, his head hanging, and tears possibly cascading down his cheeks…

"I…I never wanted him to find out like this." I say simply, dully, tragically.

And those words, they seal the deal; they tell Zuko what he's been dying to hear. He has won. He has defeated the Avatar, in a way he probably never imagined. He tries to contain his happiness, tries to play along with the melancholy mood in which I have withdrawn into.

He takes my hand, to show that he's with me, he's by my side.

"What made you choose me?" He asks quietly, almost delicately.

What do I tell him? I know he makes my heart pound with every second he is with me, I know that I might just be in love with him.

_But what about Aang…?_

There's only one way to do this.

I shut him up with kisses, smothering him with pleasure until he will forget he ever asked this question, that Aang ever walked in on us betraying him, stabbing him in the back in a way that's even worse than Azula's snake of lightning.

I need Zuko; he's all I have left. I cling onto him, gripping his shoulders even tighter, kissing deeper and deeper until I realize that my cheeks are wet, my eyes are stinging and my throat is choked.

It's just guilt. When I come to terms with it, that I've broken Aang's heart, caused him to lose sight in all that's beautiful, then I'll begin to appreciate Zuko once more, I'll never want to let him go again. I would've probably chosen Zuko over Aang anyway.

_Probably…_

"Let's go back." I mumble when we finally part. He brushes away my tears. It's too much, as if he thinks I'm a child that needs that sort of care and attention. I'm fifteen now, I can take care of myself. But he doesn't notice my resentment. He can probably only think about his victory. I can only think of Aang...

* * *

We walk in silence, my feet dragging, his arms swinging. A few hours ago and I would be clutching his hand, laughing and tossing my hair, possibly pulling him after me under the shade of a tree, pushing him up against a trunk like he had done to me and kissing him there and then, not caring who was watching.

Then we would part, when we came near to camp, our hands slipping out of each other's clasp, separating for just a while. They would meet again soon.

But now, we emerge over the hill to a campfire of silence. Everyone was there, Teo, Toph, Sokka, The Duke…Aang. They are all hunched, cross legged, looking deep in thought. Sokka looks the broodiest, his head propped up on a fist, his brow furrowed, his expression dark But Aang is apart from them, far off on a cliff face, still clutching his glider and looking out over the horizon, Momo perched on his shoulder like the faithful friend he's always been.

When they see us they all look up and their eyes widen. They know, Aang has told them. He has spread the story of how I am a back-stabbing, two timing, and lusting monster. The story of how a boy showed me the attention I craved and I jumped for it, like a pathetic little girl.

Sokka scrambles up when he spots me. I don't know what to expect; he's my brother, what will he say? I'm the one he's known the longest, a mother to him as well as a sister, but obviously it means nothing to him as he approaches me.

"Katara, come on, we have to talk." He tells me, with surprising authority. He seizes my upper arm and starts to haul me along after him.

"Hey!" Zuko calls out and behind us everyone watches closely. Aang hasn't moved. I stare at him as Sokka stops in his tracks and turns to face Zuko. He looks murderous as he jabs Zuko in the chest. He doesn't move an inch, which makes Sokka even angrier.

"You stay out of this! If you didn't try the _moves_ on my sister none of this would've happened!" Sokka accuses, his grip tightening on my arm.

"Calm down." Zuko tells him, holding up his hand. This only makes things worse: Sokka throws me away from him and his hand flies to the hilt of his sword that is hanging at his hip. This time I grab his arm.

"Sokka don't be stupid!" I hiss at him through clenched teeth. My brother turns on me.

"You're calling _me_stupid?! Come on!" he yells, pulling me along, forgetting Zuko, who doesn't protest this time.

I stumble down the hill after him, my feet not being able to move fast enough.

"Slow down!" I cry, tears springing to my eyes at my brother's harsh behavior. He only walks faster. Eventually, he pulls me under a tree. I don't tell him that this is the tree that Zuko first kissed me under, nor that I was imagining doing the same to him on the way back to camp. I think about it though.

"Katara, what the hell has gotten into you?" Sokka demands. He is red with fury as he points at me violently.

"What do you mean?" I ponder nonchalantly. Sokka only raises an eyebrow.

"Don't even try that act, Katara, it didn't work when you were seven, it won't work now." He snaps impatiently, "How could you have done this to Aang? You _know _how crazy he is about you, and we all thought you liked him as well!"

"I do…" I insist quietly, pulling some water out of the air and fiddling with it, making it twist and twirl in its small droplets through the air. Suddenly, Sokka grabs my wrists, making the water fall to the floor with a splatter. I stare at my once gentle brother, watching his expression harden, along with his iron-like grip. I can't believe he's being like this with me…

"Aang is like my brother, Katara," Sokka tells me firmly, spits at me like a mad Leopard-Bear, "The only thing that doesn't make us so is blood. I thought he was as important to you as well, maybe even more. I can't believe you would do this to him…is it really true?" He adds as an afterthought, as if searching for a gleam of hope that I hadn't done such an awful thing to him. But I nod my head mournfully, not bearing to look at him.

"I can't believe you, Katara…" He says, watching me sadly, "It's like you're a stranger to me now…"

And he leaves; he turns his back on me, my own brother.

It is then that I realize: who will be on my side? Who will stay by me, when I've joined with a fire nation prince, and disgraced the Avatar, Aang, the person everyone has given up their lives join up with?

It is then I realize that without Aang, I have no one but Zuko, a boy I've only known intimately for a few weeks…

And even though I care deeply for, and maybe even love Zuko…

I still love Aang as well.

This is why I collapse against the rough bark and sob, clutching my face in my hands as my body is ripped with sobs, racked with sorrow.

And no one comes to comfort me.


	10. Cinders

"Duke? Could you pass me that-"

A bowl is thrown in my direction without a word spoken between us. It clatters loudly at my feet. I bend down slowly and pick it up, feeling aged somehow.

"Thanks." I mutter, and I leave to pick some herbs for the soup I'm making tonight. Will they even eat it?

As I leave I hear the stony silence break and chatter resume. Tears prickle and I walk heavy-footed towards the bushes. I pluck rosemary and sniff the jasmine, humming a long-forgotten lullaby softly to myself.

"How about some sage?" A sweet voice sounds from behind me. My heart twinges as I let the bowl fall from my hands and run towards Toph, seizing her into a tight embrace.

She pats my back awkwardly, nearly coinciding with my heartbeat, which she can probably feel.

I let the sobs escape, let them shoot through the air, echoing painfully. So what if they hear me? I hope they're proud of themselves, making me feel like this.

"If it's any consolation, I respect you for showing your true feelings…" Toph tells me secretly, "But still-I really don't think you should've done it behind Twinkletoes' bac-"

"Save it, Toph!" I choke, letting go of her and turning away, clutching my own arms tightly, trying to make up for Toph's embrace, "I've heard it all from Sokka!"

"I'm sorry! But if you're this miserable, and it's only because you're with Zuko, don't you think that-"

"Forget it!" I snap at her, interrupting once more, "I love Zuko, and-"

"Love?" Toph cuts in, sounding incredulous this time, not soft and reassuring anymore, "God, Katara, you're _fifteen_! What the hell do you know about love?"

"Compared to your little obsession with my brother, a lot!" I snarl, immediately regretting it.

Every muscle I have tenses, and I wait for Toph to storm off. But she doesn't, for once in her life; she takes it without biting back. That's when I realize she's only trying to help me, not lecture me.

"Katara…" she says eventually, as if it had taken her a while to collect herself, "You're still young, it's not as if you have to choose the guy you're gonna be with forever _today_. Give yourself time. You've got to understand that-"

"TOPH!" She jumps as Sokka screeches her name. He marches over, not looking at me at all. He takes her wrist; unlike he did last night with my upper arm. He held it more gently, as if she was delicate. I watched them standing together, in complete awe, thoughts and realizations rushing and bustling-

"Let's go, we've got to go and find some more food." He tells her, apparently forgetting my soup and with that they leave, Toph following obediently, betraying me. But did I have any right to feel betrayed?

I sigh, and set off to search for Zuko, the only person who didn't seem disgusted by my presence other than Toph, who seemed very much under control of Sokka.

I find him, with Aang. My heart lurches and a dull pang hits my stomach again. They are standing a few feet apart, poised and ready to attack. For a crazy moment I think they are fighting, that Aang is releasing his anger at Zuko. I am just about to rush out from my hiding place to stop them before I listen to what Zuko's saying. His is chest bare and his rippling muscles are shining in the sun.

"So the basics of fire bending are channeling your energy into the right places…"

"Right" comes a solemn mumble from Aang, whose posture is weaker than normal, leaving too many easy openings.

"…then there's always keeping a firm posture…" Zuko says, a little louder than before, obviously trying to pass a hint to Aang, who doesn't move.

"Uh huh…" Is all he says, his woeful gaze fixed upon the floor.

"And of course, not having your back facing towards your opponent, unless you're running away, a technique demonstrated quite regularly by my sister…" Zuko mutters, a hint of bitterness in his voice as he remembers his vile sibling.

"Right." Aang agrees, still not taking one glance at Zuko. He finally hardens his posture, preparing himself. "Let's go."

That facial expression, that stance, that voice…everything about Aang rushes back to me, a breath of fresh air that almost lifts me off of my feet.

_Aang standing in front of me, clutching his glider like his best friend, blushing as I tell him how much he means to me. After a few polite words, I realize that he is not going to tell me how he feels, not today. But that is silenced as he pulls me towards him, his hand on my shoulder, and I burst, I erupt, I'm awake._

That day we became…us. But now I've lost that.

I'm thrown off by the burst of flames, coming from Aang's fingertips. It's surreal. I've only seen it once before, and after that I'd never wanted to see it again. Zuko is being easy on him as they train, I know it, leaping above him so effortlessly, twisting in the air, sending pathetic puffs of flames at Aang, most of them extinguishable by a sharp breath.

Aang grits his teeth and splits the flames with his hands, cutting them short of life, and shooting bolts of fire back at Zuko.

"Ok that's enough." Zuko dismisses, straightening up and dusting off his garb. Aang stands up straight as well and bows graciously. Zuko watches him closely.

"I'm curious, Avatar," He declares, beginning to pace around his student with the posture of a prince, "I've seen your natural talents for the arts of bending, how quickly you master them. Every time I next saw you, those months ago, you always had a new trick up your sleeve. You went from air bender, to water bender, to earth bender in a matter of months! But with fire bending…something tells me you're holding back." He finishes, and he leaves a silence there, a space for Aang to explain.

For a moment I wonder if he will answer. Aang just looks at the ground, and I wait with bated breath, anticipating a sentence with more than two words from him.

"I've bended before," Aang confesses finally, and I know what he's going to say next, "I was reckless, I went out of my depth, and I hurt someone…special. I never want to hurt them again. And I swore to myself that if I ever did have to fire bend again, I would be extremely careful, and wouldn't take any risks."

Zuko takes this in, and nods; seemingly satisfied that Aang had opened up to him. He watched him for a moment. Aang wouldn't return his gaze, and continued to watch his own feet.

"The problem is, Fire bending is all about taking risks, Avatar." Zuko tells him, turning and looking over the view, "It's about seeing an opportunity and grasping it. Water bending is about fluency and composure, earth bending is about strength and discipline, air bending is about mobility and strategy, but fire bending is about life and death, risks and success, love and hate-"

"Trust and Betrayal." Aang cuts in, this time a real flame in his eye, one that is so furious, it could destroy anything in its path. He is shaking as he looks at Zuko, but his expression is hard, mutinous, dangerous.

Nothing gets in the way of Aang when he has that look in his eye.


	11. The Gathering Winds

…Nothing.

I watch them both, completely paralyzed and Zuko's eyebrows furrow, Aang's stance strengthens.

"No!" I whisper, tears falling down my cheeks, but they're completely unnoticed by me.

"Don't do anything stupid." Zuko tells him, his voice thundering, his arms raised, poised for defense…or attack? I begin to wonder he is bosses people around without even realizing it, "You know you cannot beat me with fire bending, Avatar, you can barely produce for than ten flames at a time."

"Who says I'll use fire bending?" Aang calls, attitude and violence shining through, violence from my sweet Aang, the once peaceful monk, the rightful bringer of peace.

I did this to him. I changed him, look what I've done to him!

I'm too frightened of what Aang will say to me to rush out and stop him. What if he tries and hurts me? What if he spat hateful words at me? I would die; I would _sooner _die than hear him say something awful to me, purposefully hurt me. I would heal my injuries but it would stay with me forever, the mental scar, even more daunting than Zuko's, that Aang had _hurt _me...

Zuko's cockiness disappears as he remembers that yes, Aang can bend more than fire. He's the greatest bender in the world, he's the _Avatar._

He is no match for Aang, he knows this, Aang knows this, and I know it. So I have to stop them.

But before I can even move, Aang wilts like a flower that is blocked from the sunlight. His face resumes its hopeless expression. Zuko relaxes, but continues to watch Aang with caution.

"I'm sorry," Aang murmurs, "I should have more control, more dignity than that…I was acting like a spoilt child, I'm sorry." He hangs his head and makes to leave.

"Wait." Zuko calls, and Aang looks to him, wincing slightly, as if expecting a punishment, "Are you ok with…me and Katara?" He weighs those last three words on his tongue, as if that would make the blow more gentle, the blow of hearing him refer to us as a couple.

Aang thinks for a while, just staring at something behind Zuko, who's watching him intently. The winds tease their clothes so that they float around them, making them seem spectral and distant and not part of this world, as if I'm looking through a window into their lives. They both look so beautiful standing there, one of them safe and assuring, happy and lovable, the other wild and dangerous, gorgeous and desirable.

It tears my heart in two.

"I will be." Aang answers, loud and clear. And with that, he walks over and picks up his glider, which is lying only a few feet away from my hiding place. I recline even further into the shadows, my heart beating wildly. But Aang doesn't see me, which hurts even more.

With one swift movement, he's gone, soaring away from me like a graceful swan-eagle. He disappears as he is swallowed by the approaching mist, its fingers probing towards Zuko and me, who are still on a high part of the mountain. Zuko is watching the spot where Aang had vanished, his hair and clothes whipping around him in the gathering wind and I'm watching Zuko, emotions seeping through my skin and into my veins.

I decide to reveal myself.

"Zuko," I call. He jumps, and whirls around.

"W-when did you get here?" He asks, watching me closely.

"Just now." I lie, not looking him in the eye, "What are you doing up here?"

"Waiting for you." He tells me, and pulls me into an embrace. I stand there, pressed into his broad chest, listening to his brisk heartbeat and I relax. After a while, I wrap my arms around him and hug him close, my eyes squeezed shut, imagining that it is just him and me, alone on a mountain, with no one else waiting below, waiting to stare at me stonily and ignore my apologies, my words of defense.

After a while, my mouth is with his, and I pour myself into him, I let my hands wander and forget that it's me, gentle, innocent Katara. The kiss deepens, because I am no longer subtle, hasty Katara. I let myself go and I grab onto Zuko, my island, my sanctuary.

I'm not myself anymore.

But I don't need to be when I have Zuko, who's running from himself anyway.

We'll run together.


	12. Unmentionable

"Katara, do you suppose you can create a really large dome of water?" Sokka shoots at me. I'm startled; it's the first time he's spoken to me in around a week. We are all gathered around a map of the Fire Nation that is spread out over a table made from rock. (Courtesy of Toph)

I'm standing by Zuko, he's standing by me. I'm so close I can feel his warmth radiating into me, latching onto me, drawing me closer. Aang is standing opposite us, looking anywhere but in our direction.

"Uh…" I stutter, in the spot light for the first time in a while, "Y-yes- I mean, if I have enough water, then-"

"Great," He says shortly and immediately turns to Toph as if the conversation hadn't happened at all, "You any good at making tunnels deep under ground, Toph?"

She nods silently, looking hot and bothered.

"What about Appa?" Pipes up Teo, the closest one to Sokka, "I thought he hates going underground?"

We all look to the giant Sky-Bison, who is snoring so loud that it vibrates in my chest. Sokka thinks for a while and everyone waits, looking to him, the leader that he was born to be.

"I guess he's going to have to put up with it for an hour or two." He turns to Aang, "Is that ok with you, Aang?"

Aang, the Bison's best friend, once mine, nods without saying a word.

Once again, everyone is taking preparations for the take down of the Fire Nation. Before, we had around fifty people with us, but this time, there was only eight of us. Sokka insists that this is to our advantage; with such little numbers, we were to punch tunnels through the earth, deep down and Toph would feel her way to the secret river, Zuko directing her with a compass. Zuko would also provide the light, which was a short and snappy request from Sokka, who didn't even bother thanking Zuko when he accepted. When we reached the river and any fire benders attacked us, we would fight. If there were too many of them, I can draw out water from my pouches and the many others that everyone would be carrying for me, and create a huge dome of protection of water, combined with air, that would hopefully extinguish the flames. When we reach the Fire Lord's Palace, hopefully all of us in one piece, we will fight, which won't be much of a challenge; we are all so accomplished at what we do. It'll be second nature, child play.

"Well that's enough planning for today, folks." Sokka announces, rolling up the map, "I suggest half of us hunt for some food and the rest of us try and make a fire-"

"Can't _I _just do that?" Zuko cuts in, raising his eyebrows at Sokka, who flushes at being spoken to directly by the person he probably dislikes the most except me, his own sister.

"W-well yeah, yeah I guess you can…then everyone else can just rela-"

"Um, Sokka?" Teo speaks up, looking a little sheepish, "I'm sorry, but what am _I_going to do? I can't really go to the invasion…I mean, look at me."

He blushes in his chair, and the rest of us don't know where to look- definitely not at him or his legs. But Sokka keeps a level head and crouches down next to Teo, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Teo, you are just as important as anyone here. Now if you don't feel you can come, then we can leave you here, but if you want to come, I'm sure we can arrange something…any ideas?" He says to us, looking round, his eyes mysteriously missing Zuko and me.

Silence, as everyone is desperate to make Teo happy, to make him as elated as he would be with working legs, or just maybe wipe out the last few seconds, so we don't have to see his hopeless face looking down at his useless legs.

"You could ride in Appa's saddle?" I suggest, "If you kept hidden so Fire Nation Soldiers don't attack you, you could throw some explosives about and catch them off guard, which would definitely help us."

The group nodded their heads reluctantly, agreeing with me by force. Teo looks to Sokka hopefully, who eventually nods his head.

"Good idea, Katara." He says to me suddenly, looking straight at me, a look I cannot interpret. But a little flower of hope peeks from beneath the thorns.

Aang is silent, like Toph and the Duke, who haven't spoken at all. I wonder what the matter with them is. Although I'm sure I can guess for Aang.

I try to catch Toph's eye and then realize that she wouldn't notice if I was dancing naked in front of her face anyway. Scolding my own stupidity, I decide to ask what's wrong after Sokka "dismisses" us.

"Ok, we'd better get to work making explosives then, and Zuko making the fire for us will gain a lot of time." He briefly nods to Zuko.

A thank you?

_Maybe he's finally coming round._ I think wistfully to myself, desperately imagining Sokka smiling at me, hugging me, maybe even teasing me.

"Ok gang, let's go!" Sokka calls and everyone parts. Toph stays still for a moment, her eyes directed at the floor like always, but frowning slightly, as if thinking hard about something.

Zuko squeezes my hand briefly and leaves to collect firewood while there is still a bit of light left. I watch him go, before making my way over to Toph. However, Sokka, completely oblivious to my existence, steps in front of me and faces Toph.

"Hey, Toph," He says, more gently than he was when going through our plan, "Do you reckon you could make us all a really big tent? We've got a few clouds approaching, so we may need some cover tonight."

"Why don't we just use the temple?" I cut in, gesturing to the turrets spinning off into the sky, giving the illusion that they were spinning the clouds that trundled by. Sokka turns and looked not at me, but at the temple.

"Oh yeah, maybe we could." He agrees, perhaps speaking more to himself instead of me, "You know it's hard to get used to proper shelter after nearly a year sleeping in forests and trudging through deserts…" I wonder if he's talking to Toph, me, or both of us, "I'll…ask Aang if he's ok with it."

As he walks off, I think about why Sokka seems to ask Aang for his opinion on everything. But with a horrible smash in my stomach I remember that the temple was where Aang found Zuko and me, doing something unmentionable. Would he want to return after all? I start to feel sick again.

"Katara?"

I turn and see The Duke, looking up at me. My heart starts to beat quicker; I don't think I can handle anymore harsh words from my late friends.

But it's not what I expect.

"I think your idea for Teo was really clever, you're definitely Sokka's sister." And with a brief smile, that I could've missed with a blink, he wanders off over to Aang, who is lying against Appa, just watching the skies. I watch my Avatar longingly, wandering why I want to run up to him and feel him in my arms…

But I turn my mind back to Toph, who is still standing there, looking so lost. Gently, I touch her arm.

"Toph, is there something the matter?"

"Sokka. That's what the matter is." Toph replies immediately, her voice gabbled and her face pale. It's as if she's been waiting for me to ask the question. I stared at her for a while, wondering how a guy like my brother could affect a girl like Toph in such a way.

"D-do you want to talk about i-?"

"No, not really." Toph snaps, and with an almighty upward thrust of her arms and a stamp of her foot, a large stone tent pushes through the earth, and obscures us from sight or sound.

"I have no idea what's going on!" She whispers frantically, looking strained, "One minute Sokka's ignoring me, the next, he's right up against me, talking to me, paying all his attention to me! I don't know what I'm supposed to do!" She confides, wringing her hands in frustration. I think about my brother as romantic. It seems wrong, like Aang being my brother and kissing me.

I then get distracted- why did I think of Aang? Why not Zuko?

_You know why._

"Uh- just give him time, he's probably just confused!" I gabble to Toph, trying not to think what my mind is thinking for me.

"I've given him nearly half a year, Katara! I need you to talk to him for me."

"Me? He's not even talking to me!"

"You're not talking to him either." Toph pointed out. This is then that I realize that she's right. I've been avoiding Sokka just as much as he's been avoiding me, worried that he'll say more hurtful things. I sigh, and think about Mom, stolen away from me, somewhere where I cannot reach her. She would be so hurt that after years of looking out for each other, we were falling apart. I think of Dad, locked in a cell, giving up his own freedom for his children. I have to talk to Sokka.

"I'll talk to him." I decide out loud and I make to walk out of the tent.

"Katara, thank you!" Toph tells me, not gushing, but saying it sincerely. It only makes me feel worse, because I'm not even doing it for her.


	13. Torn

I'm trembling, completely terrified of facing my brother and have him turn away from me again. But it's something I have to do, if not for my parents, if not for me, for Toph.

He's crouched over the campfire, just looking at it with a troubled expression. I wonder if it's reminding him of Zuko.

"Sokka," I say gently, bringing him out of his trance, "We have to talk."

"Yeah, Katara, we do." He says suddenly, to my surprise. He stands up and faces me, an completely unreadable look in his periwinkle eyes. There's an uncomfortable silence, which shouldn't be there. I've known him all my life, and with Dad gone now, he's all I have left. But it's like he's a stranger…just like he had said I was under the tree that Zuko and I…

Zuko.

I close my eyes as the realization hits me.

_This is all because of Zuko…you're brother has turned on you, Aang may never speak to you again…all because he forced his kiss upon you._

And I fell for it. This is my fault. It's a tragedy. Most people think tragedies are just accidents, awful occurrences, but a real tragedy is when someone sees two paths, but chooses the wrong one, knowing what will happen, but just lets disaster crash around them, perhaps even hurting the people they love.

"Oh Sokka, I'm so_sorry_!" I gush, and I leap towards him and hug him so hard that when I let go he looks almost blue. I stand there, short of breath, waiting for him to respond.

"You need me, and I won't ever leave you." He recites, just like he had said when we over looked the village that needed our help. Those simple words make my heart swell and more tears break free.

"Then…why did stop talking to me?"

"_You _stopped talking to _me_." He corrects. I go to disagree but think better of it. I need my brother, and it looks like he needs me.

"Katara, I was angry at you, I mean-Aang is our family. Well a bit less your family than mine, you were kissing him and everything!" Sokka slightly squeaks at the word kissing. It makes me want to laugh, sweet laughter. It's so good to feel it again.

"Well basically I was angry because suddenly you were kissing Zuko. _Zuko_, the prince of the Fire Nation? Tried to kill us a couple of times? Stole your necklace?" He said this as if the theft of my necklace was the thing that would sway me, but I understood. I nodded, feeling ashamed from my brother's judgment, "And Aang was just waiting for you to come back to camp," He continued, "when all the while you were with _him_. And then he walked _in _on you two in each other's arms- I mean it would be just devastating! If Suki-" But he stops at her name, and droops. I put my hand on his shoulder, wanting to show that I'm there for him.

"It's ok, Sokka, I'm sure she'll be ok, like Dad and the others-"

"It's not that…" He cuts in, looking pained and avoiding my eyes, "I'm worried about her, of course I am, but there's something else…"

"What?" I ask, my heart hammering as I wonder if he's about to say-

"I think I like Toph, too."

The penny drops and I can't help but smile.

"Oh Sokka…" I say serenly, cocking my head to one side and looking at him sweetly. He looks so troubled and tormented, but I can't help but smile as I think how sweet him and Toph could be together. But the smile wanes to nothing as I contemplate Suki, and the devastating effect she is having on Toph and Sokka's non-starting relationship.

"What do I do?" He says in a hushed voice, pleading me for an answer, one that I cannot give.

"Sokka…" I start, watching him anxiously, "I don't know what to tell you. You have feelings for Suki, but we don't know where she is, we don't know if she's alright, and you have feelings for Toph, but then there's_Suki _and-"

"Hey-you know what? Voicing my problem has made the path _so _much clearer…!" Sokka says with dry sarcasm, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Well it's a tricky situation!" I protest, but I feel elated that we're having our old silly arguments again, "The point is, Sokka…it's a tricky situation."

I know it is, I had to go through it. But I never got to chose. I was thrown against Zuko.

_So that's a bad thing?_

No! Of course it's not, it's just that what would've happened if I had chosen Aang, the boy everyone thought I would've ended up with, the boy that every sign seems to point towards.

"The worst thing is, I was horrible to you, when I'm doing practically the same thing to Suki and Toph, I'm stringing them along…" Sokka mumbles miserably, looking to the floor.

"Sokka, just decide what you think is best. You know what it is deep down, just trust yourself."

And as I walk away from him, I wish someone had given me that advice. Maybe I would've slowed down, considered both sides of the arguments. I take a glance at Aang and see he's looking right at me. Heat crashes down on me and I know I'm bright red. A little colour stains his cheeks and he turns his head away.

He is still lying on Appa, where The Duke is talking to him animatedly. He doesn't seem to be listening.

My heart is pounding as I walk straight into Zuko.

"Whoa!" He says, looking startled. He has grabbed my arms as I career into him. I stand there, feeling his strong grip, taking a look at his biceps bugling through his sleeves.

I smile weakly up at him, letting the warm feeling spread through me as he holds me close.

I don't know how, but as Zuko's fire surrounds me, it obscures everything else from view, even Aang.


	14. Dancing shadows, haunting Memories

Heavy rain falls, as we all sit in one of the Western Air temple's Chambers. A few candles have been lit by Zuko, who invited Aang to try it out, but Sokka interrupted hastily, suggesting the occurrence of the room being set alight. This didn't really help Aang and his confidence, but when has Sokka ever been tactful?

We all sit together, our shadows proving to be more lively than the rest of us, the candle light flickering, and setting them dancing along the walls. Half of our faces are in shadows, the others are thrown into the light, illuminating us, making us seem more real than we probably are. This makes me think. All of us have a private side to us, which no one has ever seen, not even the person closest to them.

I imagine Aang's private side, but I cannot make it out. He is always so open, so happy to be who he really is. But Zuko has a private side, and I've been 'lucky' enough to see it. To others he may seem harsh and proud, but I've seen him at his most vulnerable, actually _crying_, something I'd never thought I'd see. I don't know if this is good or bad, I don't think I know anything anymore.

I think of my private side, the way I think about everything I see, contemplate it, and analyze the faintest expression that is gone after just a second, watch people grow closer together, read their body language. And I don't think anyone knows how thoughtful I am. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, if my public side is just a shell, hard and rough and no one knows who I am inside.

But like I said, I don't know anything anymore, not after Zuko.

I try and trace everything I know about Zuko. Time after time, he has nearly killed us, time after time, we've seen his pure hatred for us. He would've seen me dead just to get Aang in his _"little Fire Nation clutches". _

And it sickens me. It sickens me the way he just walks into our camp, expects us to accept him, and worst of all, we _did. _I kiss him, I hold him, I'm part of him. And it sickens me. Because all the while, this jumble of emotions, feelings, instincts, whatever you want to call it, they always lead back to Aang, the boy who would never dream of hurting me, who would see himself dead so I could survive, who only has smiles and laughter for me, no scowls, no hatred. It was beautiful what we had.

The last few weeks replay themselves, scrambled, mixed, jumbled out of time, not in order, not making sense but being so clear at the same time, chanting at me as my words of love to Zuko had done in the Air Temple Halls.

_...Beautiful Chaos_

_ ...It fits…?_

_...The Avatar's defeat…_

..."_Aang…his name is _Aang_!"_

_...Red…red…red…_

_...He's broken_

_...Winds...gathering…_

_ ..Cinders..._

..."_LIAR"_

_ ...The spoilt prince…_

_...The beautiful prince…_

_The boy waiting for me…who has waited for me for as long as _

_the sleepless nights, _

_the beautiful days…_

**Aang.**


	15. Him

My lips crash against his, and I try to accomplish all the kissing I would've done if I'd decided to spend a life with him. I try to complete all the discreet caresses, the little smiles exchanged only between us, the running of hands through hair, the familiarity of his mouth, his cheeks, his eyes, his laugh in just one, fleeting, wistful, pain-riddled kiss.

These simple but beautiful things, priceless and utterly irreplacable flash through my mind as my lips push and pull against his, like water, something he'd never understand like I do.

But I've made my decision. And now he must know before we set off for the second invasion, this day, this morning, this hour, this minute, I have to break away from him and leave him, but leave him with the knowledge that I will always love him, in a way that I've loved no one else.

All of that has to be said in one minute. A whole lifetime doesn't seem enough. Nothing's enough when I'm leaving this person behind.

But then there's_him_...the boy that I am to leave with, and spend my life with, if it's meant to be. How can I be sure when I've been switching back and forth, unsure of what's real anymore, of what fits?

_Zuko or Aang…_

I've made my decision, the hardest decision that I've ever had to make. But if you think about it carefully, it becomes so easy. Even after days of contemplating, of watching each of them carefully, wandering what our children would look like, if he wouldn't be able to go a day without kissing me. Would Aang ever give me that…feeling? Would Zuko ever make me feel completely safe, completely at home…complete? Would Aang even forgive me if I chose him?

As I finally pull my lips away from his, I feel the reality crashing down on me. Not that we're about to face the Fire Lord, and possibly the end of…everything today, but that I'm about to face him.

_Him…_


	16. The Decision

The day before the invasion, was one of the strangest days of my life. That day, it was like I had been split in two, one part of me crying to run back to Aang, the other mourning for Zuko.

That day, Aang had spoken to me. It took my breath away, and like a true Air bender, he nearly lifted me off of my feet.

It was a simple conversation, but I nearly broke apart. The emotion pressed down on my shoulders, the pressure rising higher and higher until I felt as though I might sink into the ground.

I was practicing my water bending in a quiet stream, the thing that calms me down, releases tension, cools off the heat, when I realized someone was water bending with me, just pushing and pulling the water near me. I knew who it was before I even turned to look.

Aang moved his arms with graceful fluency, not looking at me, but at the water, as if he needed to concentrate, which of course he didn't. With a pang in my chest I realize that this is the first water bending move I ever taught to him. He must've known this...was he doing it for a reason? I watched him, lost all composure and grew steadily warmer as my stomach simply fell away from me.

"...Hey." I said eventually. It took so much courage just to greet him. It never used to be this hard. I never imagined that it would be.

He stayed silent for a while, as the water obeyed, as it bowed to him, the Avatar.

"Hey." He replied eventually, and turned his soft eyes on me.

"How are you?" I asked, hoping that he'd open up, and tell me how he really felt about the last few weeks.

"I'm fine." He told me.

No such luck.

He started to elaborate with his bending, making the water mull, capturing it under his fingers. He twisted and it rose with him. He fired it skywards, and then blew a steady flute of air towards it. It split the streak of water and it parted into countless droplets, rising into graceful arches before pelting back towards the earth. Finally all was still, and I stared at Aang in amazement.

"Always full of surprises." I said to him, a wide grin splitting my face. It felt unfamiliar but nice all the same. I kept it there as I looked at him. Even though he didn't open his mouth and give me that gorgeous beaming smile, his eyes brightened, which was enough for me.

"Katara," He said, stepping closer, making my pulse kick up just a bit.

_You're with Zuko. Crush those feelings; you've made your choice._

But who says I ever got to make it?

Aang looked at me, something in his eyes, something I recognized and welcomed back with open arms, even though I shouldn't have.

"Just so you know, you're still my closest friend. I know you know about my feelings…and I guess I was just kidding myself when I hoped you liked me too. Every kiss you planted on my cheek, every little smile, just added to my love for you."

I felt my heart swell as he said the word "love". He had no idea… even when I leant forward to taste his lips those lifetimes ago, that crisp morning; he probably assumed even then that it was just another innocent peck to the face, not the confession that I'd been waiting,_itching _to unleash.

"I want to apologize for kissing you before the invasion as well." He said with a flush creeping up his swan-like neck, slender and calling to my lips even then, "All I can say is that it could've been the last time I'd ever see you again. It was too short to tell you how I felt. In one minute, I was meant to fit all those months, all those adventures into that one minute? A whole lifetime wouldn't be enough…"

Those last words stuck with me, as I felt a lump grow and begin to rise in my throat, my arms itching to throw themselves around him.

"Aang…" I began, but I fell silent as he raised his hand.

"It's_ok, _I'll be ok, _we'll _be ok. Nothing can change our friendship. We've been together this whole time, without romance, without the complications of love, and we've managed. Who says we can't now?"

He made it sound so simple, it was almost painful. I felt my eyes smart on the account that he was being so brave, so wise, because of all those past lives behind him. The only life I've ever known was this; I had no wisdom to pass on, no consoling words. Just…  
"Aang." I murmured, watching him in awe, forgetting all proof that we shouldn't be together. What proof? This constant stomach ache was an argument in itself that we belonged, as I missed him and missed him.

"_It's ok, I'll be ok, we'll be ok"_

Those words broke my heart; they were the finality, the mark that signified us moving on from it all, forgetting it ever happened, and forgetting that I ever loved him.

And finally, Aang brought up his arms in that wonderfully familiar action and I stepped into him, into the warmth and comfort of knowing that_he's still here._

* * *

Zuko found me, under our tree. Its branches seemed to be blooming as the beautiful but daunting summer blessed its flowers. The nearer the heart of summer approached, the nearer the landing of the comet followed, and every time we thought of it, a chill would shiver down our spines.

I was sitting at the trunk's base, draining the water out of a panda-lily, remembering back to the time that we went to the fortune teller, and the story of the rare panda lily, but I slowly squeezed it's life out of it anyway- even the most unique and wonderful thing can slip through your fingers. It's a harsh lesson to learn, but I suppose everyone has to learn it. I remember what the fortune teller had predicted for my life, that I would marry a powerful bender. This didn't help with my troubles at all.

I moved the few droplets from the flower to my temples and see their newly found glow flicker just out of the corner of my vision.

A headache that wouldn't go away, summer heat that loosens your mind and your perception.

"I've been looking for you everywhere." Zuko told me, holding out his hand to me, his warm, wide, wonderful hand…that didn't reach me somehow. He was trying to touch my world, but it seemed so distant from his, the simplicity of loving the one person, the easiness of preparing to face a ferocious father, with lighting at his hand.

I had other weights on my shoulders, biting at my flesh, gnawing and scrabbling at the inside of my body, screaming in my mind.

Zuko or Aang, Aang or Zuko.

But I take the hand, not feeling it, but knowing that I was rising to stand up. And I knew those lips are on mine, but I couldn't feel it. Doesn't that just answer my question?

_Look further…_

And then I saw his passion, his fiery gaze, his lean physique, the lips that are singing upon mine right now. Our noses brushed, our fingers entwined and I melt again, I melt under his touch, his tongue, his fire.

_Skin grazing on skin…_

_We'll be ok…_

_Lips blessing lips…_

_Nothing can change our friendship…_

"_I love you"…_

"I love you." Zuko breathed, for _real_, not in my mind, where memories were rushing through again, but through his voice, his teeth, his lips. He had said it. It was done.

I look up at him, not missing the scar that had haunted me, the one I had never asked about, because I didn't want to upset him, I didn't want to see him cry…

"What?" I whispered, wanting to cover his mouth, to stop him saying it, not until I was sure I should love him back.

"Katara, these past few weeks have been the best of my life, cut free from my father, my mother still alive," I had no idea what the issues with his mother were but he seemed to think I did, mentioning it briefly before moving on. Did I know him that little? I let him continue though, too afraid to speak up and shatter his elation, "I made peace with the Avatar, my uncle's free…and then there's you. I realize now that I love you. I can't imagine life without you in my arms, without us together, freeing the world, riding the skies!"

I took it in, looking into his eyes but looking somewhere else entirely, replaying his care free declaration.

_Freeing the world, riding the skies._

It all sounded too familiar, an exact copy of the life that Aang, Toph, Sokka and me led, when Zuko was still trying to blast us out of the air, watching intently as he prayed for us to fall to our deaths, as we clung onto Appa, the most dear friend, screaming as fear ripped through us, stole our breath, made us giddy with terror and we expected the end, the final boom as we hit the earth and left the world forever.

But as I watched him I felt myself give way, my common sense and my grudges slip away as his hand rubs my arm, the other cupping my face. And I melt, knowing that I'll be furious with myself later.

_Fire…passion and power…_

_Air…freedom and life…_

Lips, joined, making the promise of eternity; that they'll never part.

_As if we're breathing for the first time…_

I felt myself slip into Zuko's spell once more, marvelling at his sensitivity, his meaningfulness and his determination, but scolding at my weakness, my naivety, my ignorance of that important fact- once you get in, it's harder to get out.

* * *

And that was one of the most strangest days of my life, being ripped in two, coming away from the world, embracing love, giving in to lust and all in all making the important decision, the one that I would live with, abide by for the rest of my life.

And when you think about it, it's all so easy; _life _is so easy, easier than passion and betrayal, when you just remember the life you've lived and a warm embrace.

After that it is effortless. All you have to do is follow the path, and abide by it.


	17. Stand Tall, Don't Fall

Passion. Life. Freedom. Power.

Such compelling things. If I could have a lifetime to choose which one then I would take it. But I only had that day, yesterday, another period of time that I can never get back, that I cannot reach nor modify. It is this thought that helps me stick to my decision.

_Just trust yourself, Katara._

As my brother, The Duke and Toph pack bags and bags of explosives for Teo, who is already stowed away in Appa's saddle; they sing a famous song from the Earth Kingdom.

_Stand tall, stand proud,_

_Don't fall, because you've vowed,_

_To be the wall that protects our city,_

_To never look upon the scum with pity,_

_Do what you were born to be,_

_Be almighty,_

But as Sokka sings (or wails) the finishing line, it sounds more like: "BEEEEE ALMIGHTEEEEEEE" with a swinging gesture that is so vigorous he falls off of Appa. Toph sniggers along with the rest of us, before skyrocketing Sokka into the air off of a pedestal of earth so he lands straight in Appa's saddle.

He emerges, red faced and his wolf's tail askew.

"I gotta admit..." He says breathlessly, rubbing his head, "You've got aim, Toph."

I smile serenely, but watch clos as Sokka gazes down at Toph longer than necessary, who doesn't even realize. Does she know the real reason for why his heart is beating so fast?

_Don't get caught up in their love affairs. Don't you have something to say to a certain someone?_

So I decide to do what my fingers have been shaking about all day and what my heart has been hammering about for the past week. I'm going to tell him that I cannot ever be with him, no matter how many times I have planted beautiful kisses on his face, no matter how many times I've been cradled in his embrace.

I'll watch his heart break, and try to forget the boy I am going to spend the rest of my life with just for one second, and connect with _this_ boy's despair. Because I have to make myself see what I've done. To a human being, who loved me. I have to learn never to do that again. I've hurt so many people; I'm not sure why they're even talking to me, wasting their breath, wasting their life on me.

It could've all been so simple, if I had just abided by that path.

My heart stops when I see him. Just sitting, one side of his face hidden, so I can almost see his past life...

I find him under our tree.


	18. Moments

"Zuko." I breathe, my blood hammering through my veins, adrenaline screaming past my ears. It only gets worse as he smiles and gets up to greet me, steadying himself as he stands against the tree's body. Soon enough it'll be all he has left to hold on to.

"Hey," He says softly, too softly for that harsh boy I had once shivered at the thought of. His scar looms off of his visage, making me even more nervous. He grew up in a world of hate; his own father did something unmentionable to him. Sometimes I cannot believe the place he has come from, as if it is just a fairy tale world, distorted and spun out of reality's ways.

"I have to talk to you, before the invasion, before anything happens." I say shakily, my own legs trembling. It seems like just yesterday that they were shivering under his spell, as he moved closer to me, his face obscuring everything, his fire so consuming, so ravenous.

His face shows confusion, not anxiety or dread, just blissful unknowing.

"What is it, 'Tara?" He asks, using that gentle abbreviation, to show how close we are. I couldn't tell him I hated it. Honesty has become the last option for me nowadays, sitting in a shady corner whilst gathering cobwebs. Zuko's endearing term makes me sink lower in my pit of guilt and despair. My gaze drops from his, and I watch my hands, which are clenching each other, holding each other together.

"This is so hard to say." I choke; ready to open up, to finally show myself to the world, to him, because it's the least I can do for him, before-

"Before you do, I have to tell you something." He says suddenly, taking my hand, stroking it tenderly with his thumb, in a smooth, regular rhythm, a pulse. I want to cry, because I know he is going to tell me how much I mean to him, how he felt the luckiest person in the world to be with me. But whatever I had in my mind is on a completely different mind wave from Zuko's.

He looks at me, and I watch him drink me in, his chest rises and falls as he sighs, breathes in and out, and I get a flash through my mind, of Zuko and Aang, standing together, Zuko lecturing Aang about breathing, how important it was in fire bending, completely over looking the fact that you cannot live without it.

And then I remember myself, so young and naïve, thinking about kissing Zuko, and how it was like breathing for the first time, as if I couldn't live without him.

But I've been breathing all this time. But now it feels like life kicked up, the lights started shining and the colour flooded in after a boy and his flying bison careered into my life…adventure shining all around him, excitement pulsing off of him. I wonder what Zuko would say if he knew I was thinking about Aang. Would he be angry? Or would he slink into the shadows, feeling himself breaking.

"You belong with the Avatar."

My breathing is cut short; my heart feels as if someone has seized it in their fist. I stare at Zuko, but with the faint realization that I'm falling, spiraling downwards, because there is no way that I can believe what he has just said to me.

He didn't say it.

_He can't have said it._

But there he is with his mouth still slightly open, his words still hanging in the little air between us.

"What?" I gasp, my hands falling from his, symbolizing the most important thing of all, but neither of us notices it; we are both too caught up in now.

"You should be with him." He says simply, but I know how hard it is for him to say this, to realize this and to put it into words.

"I don't understand…" I murmur, still watching him, trying to escape this illusion.

"Katara, I've spent the last year of my life hating you. It was only when I saw you up close, not from the skies or behind your barricades of water, that I realized that you were someone different, someone I could learn to love." And so unlike me, he holds my gaze, the intensity somehow holding my head upwards so I can face him as well.

"Zuko…"

"Let me talk, Katara." Such a change from "Don't talk." But he _has_changed. For me.

"I have such strong feelings for you," Zuko tells me, looking at me as if he's trying to take in as much as he can while he still has the chance, "Those feelings will take a while to handle, and then a while after that to get past. But I can do it. I'm just not sure you can do it concerning the Avatar."

Now I have to pull my eyes away from his. So he had known all along…

"But you have a small chance of getting past me. You were trying to avoid me for all that time when I was the crazy guy with the ponytail, right?"

I manage a small, painful smile, which just doesn't fit on my face anymore.

"I'm sorry…" I say finally, the pressure off my chest is unbelievable. I can't believe the relief of just telling him how I feel so terrible for deceiving him, deceiving myself. The more I say, the more that pours out of me, the easier it gets. "I thought that I loved you. I thought that the feeling you gave me was love, but it wasn't. It was just-"

"Lust?" He finishes. I nod slowly, figuring it out, finally putting down the thoughts and watching them fit.

"I've spent all year trying to kill him." Zuko says, looking somewhere behind me, as if he can see the events of fire and air combining to make an explosion replaying for him, "A whole year terrorizing him, shooting flames at his skull, tantalizing him with his friends that I used as bait. And then I just walked into his gang, saying that I was on his side, and then I take probably the most important thing to him for myself. And I expect him to be ok with it? The way I've treated him…it's not much better from when I was set on killing him."

I lift a hand to his face, feeling that familiar shape against my fingertips. I feel the wind coaxing my hair and clothes, wondering if someone else is looking into our world and thinking that we look so spectral, so distant, as I had done whilst I watched him with Aang watch their flames birth from their palms.

When my fingers brush his scar, I am taken back to the beautiful cave of crystals, and the first time I had ever spoken to Zuko, properly, without the threats of flames and ice daggers. The first time I touched Zuko, felt the warmth of his skin burn through my fingertips, felt the softness of what I expected to be brittle and rough, I had no idea of what would happen next. But then Aang punched through the wall, and reality rushed back in again.

With Zuko it would always be unreal, a dream. But Aang would always be there when I woke up. It fits. And once again, I feel the pang of regret that I hadn't realized this earlier.

So much would've been spared.

"It's time you let go." Zuko tells me softly, his bittersweet titian eyes burning into my reflective blue. Like fire and water, we would never work, we were destined to clash. Our elements see truth clearer than we do and we stand there just a little longer, before I take in Zuko's advice, and my hand leaves him.

And this time I feel ok.

_Red…red…red_………finally, it stops. Silence remains and I revel in it, the calm after the storm.

_Dancing shadows…haunting memories_………they are laid to rest.

_Nothing is like this_………and nothing ever will be. But it had to stop; it was never going to work.

So many moments, all gathering towards this one.

The finality of everything, the simple ending, is not a huge blow. It is simply recognizing fate. That is why my tears are not of pain of sorrow- they are of happiness, and relief, that everything is going to be all right. And Zuko knows it too, as he smiles down at me and blinks, flash, flash, flash.

"I have to go, I have to see-"

"Aang." Zuko finishes for me, and it's only when I turn to leave that I realize- it was probably the first time Zuko had ever used Aang's name. My walking slows, and I turn to say something, but he's already heading up another hill, taking his own path and leaving all that had happened behind.

I think about this, and realize that this whole affair feels like it's happened in only a few chaotic and frivolous seconds- a moment of madness that would haunt me for the rest of my life. I think of how in just a few actions, so many people can get hurt- because you forget them for one second and I marvel at the thought of forgetting Aang, the most memorable person you could meet, whose image could be imprinted in your mind after a single glance.

But it's time to move on. I can't help but smile at how crazy the events have been, how the ropes of reality have been tangled and all that seemed possible pushed to another level. Prince Zuko is on _our side_, calling Aang by his name and teaching him how to fire bend. Everything is stretched out of what seems real right now, and it'll take a while to get used to.

But anything is possible and it's this that I will take from this experience, this mess that should have never happened.

It's been a few minutes since I've watched Zuko's profile disappear over the rolling slopes and when I turn my head and continue to walk, it surprises me that it's so easy to do this, to turn away from what could've been. But after all, the answer has always been obvious, and he's just over the hill, at the end of the path that I was always going to take, the right turn at the cross roads.

He's waiting, and this time he won't be disappointed.

"Katara." He calls to me, as I emerge over the slope, and his radiant smile lights me up, lifts me off my feet. I'm surprised not to see the leaves kick up as his fresh air ripples through me. The rest of the group looks to my direction, probably expecting to see Zuko with me. It's refreshing to see their confusion. Everyone is ready for the invasion- my own gear is lying in a pile with my water pouches. But the daunting attack is forgotten- all I can see is _him. _

I can only breathe his name as I run into his arms, feeling his warmth envelope me and letting my tears whisper down my cheeks and fall into him.

I'm home, it fits, I belong- I always had.

There is no doubt as his name slips through my lips.

_Aang._

**Thank you. **


End file.
